this weekend i got ice cream in a small town. i drank beer on a hill above its lake. i felt awful. i felt great. i almost went to san francisco. i changed my opinion on damien hirst almost entirely. i wore all-black in 95 degree weather. i read raymond carver and milton friedman. i talked about race and my friends and history. i was at a loss for words. i "disappeared." i hogged the blankets. i wrote a cover letter. i slept too long for no reason. i ruined my silk shoes walking down a railroad track. i missed being alone. i missed people. i read poetry. i heard poetry. i found my favorite necklace. i left things behind. i don't know.