human amusement at hourly rates

i've spent the better part of my night listening to guided by voices while eating chicken alfredo and reading slavoj zizek's twitter - which is, of course, amazing.

he also asked me if i wanted to help him sell electronics

yesterday i met an iranian jew from new york - accompanied by the cutest, most obedient dog - who believed that he was being possessed by a female alien. when asked why he thought she was female, he responded, "because she never stops talking!" burn.

also i was so tempted to ask if he lived in queens. racial profiling?

WAIT AND ALSO he asked if i knew "the secret of persian girls." what

i'm devoting my day to wearing heels and finding a guy wearing ysl homme cologne.

sigh

"Grant stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk, and now we stand by each other."